How to Survive if you're REALLY Broke

Lets face it, it’s a tough world out there and the jobs are limited, especially in this thriving college town where thousands of hopeful students are looking for work. Well I’d like to open your eyes to an alternative to the work force that requires no flawless resume. You’ll get to choose your own hours, and won’t have to worry about the asshole boss that comes with every job.

At this point your probably thinking wow this sounds great.  Tell me more!

Well here is the alternative: collect cans! This is a college town folks, and empty beer cans are plentiful. How else do you think the copious amounts of homeless people in this town make their money? Not only can you make money, but you can also help out the environment!

You can get five whole cents for every can you find! Yes, that means if you can collect 20 cans, you will be a dollar richer!! Think about how much you can buy with that. Keep the cans of a thirty rack and you got yourself $1.50! At that point you have enough to buy yourself a nice tall can of pbr! And lemme tell ya, nothing feels better than the first sip of that beer when you worked hard collecting cans to earn it. Make sure you keep the can too so it can be part of the next batch you cash in.

Before you start your career you need to be mindful that you are not the only one collecting cans out there. You will be competing with tons of homeless people who have this down to a science. But if you hit the right places at the right time you can out smart them. Also, as a college student you have access to all your friends beer cans before they even end up on the street so take advantage of that, you can make money and not even need to feel like a scavenger.

What are you waiting for a career awaits you! Just don'f forget your shopping cart.

Look how happy Ricky from Trailer Park Boys has been since he started this job:

Web Comics!!

So we all know how fun hiking can be, but there are some precautions you must remember to take!

This next one is based off Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven" and it is continuing the raven's wrath to another hopeless victim

You said WHAT?!

Our epic quest for the best low budget ballin' in and around the Burlington area is an exhausting and often perilous journey through some of the most questionable establishments in our fine city. For every entertaining and informative post I grace your computer with, there are twice as many horrible experiences that never make it out of the pages of my notebook. From something as relatively trivial as a truly terrible meal, to a "Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid" style  knife fight against a seventy-year-old man named Phong Ko in a ring of fire, you embark on your adventure never knowing where the night will take you. Sometimes I come home with charished memories, some informative tips to enrich your lives, and an interesting story to tell. Other times it's lashes across my back, a spiked dog collar, a ball gag, and repressed memories (that asshole Dr. Harowitz loves to pry). Either way, I do all of this for you, my amazing (albeit required) audience.

That being said, I think we occasionally get caught up in the seemingly endless social scene that surrounds us here in good 'ol Burly. Every once in a while it's good to take a step back and really look at the big picture. Last weekend, the return of an old friend to Burlington prompted me to do just that, and I would like to share the revelation with you. 

One of the cheapest, most consistent, side-splittingly funny, endlessly entertaining sources of fun here in the Burlington area is right in front of your face... Your friends. "What? Are you insane?" you might be asking yourself. "These fucking losers are lucky I EVER grace them with my divine presence" you may be saying aloud. While all of that may, in fact, be true, their value in the terms of pure entertainment can be immeasurable. If you are lucky enough to have someone in your intimate circle who happens to be outwardly awkward and/or socially inept, count yourself lucky my friend. Their natural unfortunate condition, like herpes, is a gift that just keeps on giving. 

His name is Nick Deez. Seeing as he has already graduated and is working a "real job" in New York City, I feel no need to protect him with a pseudonym (who graduates collage in 4 years anyway?). From the epic freshman year we spent living in Mercy Hall back in '07, he has been one of my best friends, and most consistent sources of entertainment. Although in the desperate search of newly admitted collage students for the affection of the opposite effect, his presence was rarely, if ever, helpful. Some things are just worth the loss. Every night we ventured out into the dim glow of another Burlington night began another series of events that would leave Judd Apatow's jaw on the floor in disbelief. 

I have decided to compile a short series of web comics based on the exploits of my long lost late night cohort for your enjoyment. This is dedicated to you, Nick Deez. I miss you and your drunken T-Rex arms more than you know. 

Some people are smooth, some people are not... and some people are Nick Deez. 

With Friends Like Deez... who needs enemies?

With Friends Like Deez...

Web Comics

Comic 1:

Comic 2:

Maglianero: A Coffee Lover's Bliss

I was never much of a coffee drinker until this past summer when I worked as a camp counselor and was surrounded by screaming seven year olds from six a.m until 10 p.m. After a few days of that, I was forced to start drinking multiple cups of coffee everyday just to have enough energy to face the little tyrants. (Side Note-there may have been one day when I finished an entire pot of coffee by myself in less than an hour, but that’s besides the point)  Needless to say, I am now hooked on coffee.  And although I am a new coffee drinker, I am not a stranger to the coffee shops of Burlington.  I’ve spent hours in Muddy’s, Uncommon, New Moon (technically not a coffee shop, but they do have some good coffee), and Starbucks doing homework, catching up with friends, getting caught up in a good book, and simply enjoying the ambiance that they hold.  Recently, a friend invited me to do homework at a place called Maglianero.  Now, being a bit of a Burlington coffee shop expert, I was shocked that I had never heard of this place before.  I grabbed my mug and set off on an adventure to the mystical place that supposedly existed somewhere in Burlington.

Maglianero is located way down on Maple Street, right near the waterfront (the actual entrance is located around the back of building).  From the outside, it doesn’t look like there is much inside, but upon entry, it is a weirdly industrial heaven.  The inside is incredibly spacious and scattered with two large tables that seat around eight people, a few bar height tables, multiple three person tables, and a couple of cozy couches to curl up on.  Now, normally I wouldn’t go into much detail about the tables except that if any of you have been to Muddy’s or Uncommon on a Saturday, you know how impossible it is to find a table.  Since Maglianero is a bit off the beaten path, I had no trouble finding an open table that also had a plug for my computer.  Score!

Now, let’s get to the coffee.  They have a fairly large menu that includes all of the basics (coffee, lattés, cappuccinos, espressos, etc.) but then they also have a “specials” section that contains drinks that the baristas invented themselves.  I chose to get a simple mocha, while my friend got “The Pedestrian,” a drink from the specials menu that had cayenne and maple in it (an interesting combination that was surprisingly really good).  Each drink set us back about $4, the same price as just about any Starbucks drink.  Their coffee is all roasted in Waterbury, VT, where the owner of the roasting company knows the farmers who he is buying the coffee beans from.  So you’re spending $4 to support a local business and a farm-direct relationship, not to mention having an awesome place to waste a few hours.   (Also, the barista made a cool leaf design in the foam on my mocha and I think latte art is so freaking cool.)

The other amazing thing about this place is that it is really bike friend. Like REALLY bike friendly.  There is a bike ramp that leads from Maple Street down to the café entrance and there are bike racks in front, out back, AND INSIDE the café.  There’s also a shower located in one of their bathrooms so that commuters can always smell nice and clean.

Some other perks about Maglianero include: free WiFi, they sell Garuka Bars, they allow dogs, and they have special nights when their skate ramp is open to the public.  Yes, you heard right.  The back of the coffee shop is occupied by a few skate ramps.  I’m still a bit confused as to why they are there, but they add character and make the place just that much more interesting.  

Maglianero is a coffee shop that I am now starting to frequent and would recommend to any and all coffee drinkers in Burlington.  I love that it’s a bit quieter than the Church Street crowd and I know that I’ll get a good cup of joe AND I’ll have a plug for my computer.  What more could a caffeine addicted college student want?

Maglianero is located at 47 Maple Street and is open Monday through Friday from 7:30 until 6 and on Saturday and Sunday from 8:30 until 6 .  

RiRa's Pint & A Pound

We already established that you are able to DRINK your way through Monday and eat half priced burgers on Wednesday.  Get out your calendar and red sharpie because here comes another awesome weekly special.  Every Thursday RiRa’s has their pint and a pound special; a mighty pint of beer to wash down a monstrous pound of chicken wings. A Thursday night at RiRa’s will transcend your average Thursday evening into a night of glory.  Feast and drink to your hearts content while telling your comrades about your  epic plans for the upcoming weekend and how you totally slayed your Tuesday exam.  As you tear through wing after wing enjoy the live music and fun atmosphere of the irish style restaurant.

Let me break the special down for you:

For the pint, you choose between:

• Sam Adams Boston Lager
• Sam Adams Seasonal Oktoberfest

And for the wings, your choices are:

• Guinness BBQ sauce
• Jameson honey glaze
• Mild
• Wild
• Volcanic

Let us just revel in the $6 price for a minute.  Typically wings at RiRa’s cost around $10 and a pint of beer can cost around $5.  The math is pretty clear.  You can even get two pints and two pounds of wings and it would still be cheaper than the normal price.  A harder math problem might be:  If my friend leaves from position x to get to the bathroom, position y, how many seconds do I have to finish his remaining 3.5 wings before he gets back?

Next Thursday night, before you decide to eat dining hall food or that leftover pasta in your fridge, consider the pint and pound special at RiRa’s, located at 123 Church Street.  It will be a night to remember!

Farmers Market

It's almost the weekend!! yeeehawww. That means you're probably starting to contemplate what kinds of things await you for those precious days off.

One of my favorite Saturday afternoon activities is the farmers market at City Hall Park. It is a one of a kind place that captures the earthy/hippie essence of this beautiful city. You can buy all sorts of dank local foods and goods from some super down to earth people. And you can't forget the endless free samples you'll find! I never plan on buying anything when I go there, but when there's such an epic display of amazing local foods, it's hard to resist. Besides, doesn't it feel great to support local businesses?

Apart from what you can buy there, the farmers market is awesome because it's a scene unlike any other. It's where the people of Burlington get together and enjoy themselves. You can almost always capture an interesting performance, or some other spectacle that would only happen in Burlington. I also love all the great dogs that people bring with them. Every time I go, I look around and realize why I love this city.

So if you're looking for something to do with your Saturday, why not check out the farmers market? Just head down to city hall park between 8:30 and 2:00, lay in the grass, relax, and see what Burlington is all about!

DRINK your way out of The Mondays

As another weekend comes to an end, we are once again forced to dive head first into the all to familiar weekly grind.  Only moments ago you were leaving Friday's last class with excitement flowing through your veins, shooting text messages out through your tangled web of friends, lovers, and acquaintances. The thoughts of deadlines and tests slid to the back of your mind as magnificent plans manifested themselves out of thin air.

What happened.

A 9:00am class on Monday seemed like such a good idea...

Your alarm didn't go off, so you're hauling ass to campus as fast as your sore legs will take you. You're wondering why the hell its brilliant founders had to construct it atop this godforsaken mountain. A coffee might help take the edge off, but the Gestapo in your first lecture would strip you a letter grade for disrespecting punctuality. You barely make it in time, stumbling into class, hair disheveled, one sock missing, emanating the remnants of sex and liquor that you didn't have the time to wash off.

Happy Monday.

Okay... so maybe that's not your typical Monday morning. No matter how dramatic your reentry into the academic reality of the week is, I think we can all unanimously agree: Mondays suck. But every seven days, we suck it up and fight tooth and nail through the endless forces that seem to be hell bent on destroying us. Lucky for us all there is a light at the end of the tunnel...

If you venture past the area you probably spent most of your weekend not remembering, you will find an establishment that understands the inherently shit-tastic nature of Mondays. Located at 135 St. Paul Street in Burlington, Drink is only a block away from Church Street, yet is worlds away from the dark dirty bars you spent your weekend binge drinking in. Walking through City Hall Park, the stress and pressure of the day fades behind you as you approach the bar. Inside, you'll find a clean and well decorated interior that exudes a classiness that is comfortably unfamiliar in comparison to its surroundings. The soft leather couches are an inviting temptation for your sore frame, while the stacks of board games makes it the perfect place for you and your coconspirators to meet and discuss the weekend's indiscretions.
Most important are all of the specials. And yes, I mean ALL of the specials. Every monday, Drink enacts every one of its daily specials throughout the week at once, creating an orgy of affordable alcohol choices for your enjoyment. You can take a  closer look for yourself, but whatever your taste, Drink has something for you. From $5 Long Islands, to $2 Microbrew drafts, to $4 Mojitos and Cosmos, whatever liquid medication your case of the Mondays needs, they can help.

So next time you start your week on the wrong foot, grab some friends and head down to Drink. You'll find me with a $2 Switchback in hand, undoubtedly dominating a rousing game of Apples To Apples, showing another Manic Monday who's in charge.

Stay classy Burlington, until next time... -Amory

Burlington's Finest Fall Festivities

Welp, with the temperature dropping and biddies already breaking out their Uggs, it seems as if it’s about that time of year again.  Autumn in Vermont.  Here’s my list of the top ten things that I love to do when the air gets crisper and the days get shorter.

10. Go to a Harvest Festival.  Considering we live in a state that mainly consists of farm, there are a plethora of farms around that hold wonderful things called Harvest Fests.  Normally, these are either free or just a few dollars to enter. Once inside, there are tons of food vendors with free samples and many local artisans showing off their work.  City Market has one coming up on October 7-put it in your calendars folks.

9. Apple picking. Fall would be nothing without apple picking.  There’s something magical about going to the orchard with friends, picking seven pounds of apples, and merely driving away satisfied.  Somehow though, apple picking always ends up taking me around ten minutes before my bag is full.  I don’t really know how this happens-maybe I just get excited and pick the first dozen apples that I see? If you want to prolong the picking experience, try to get a variety of apples.  Usually the different types of apples are in different parts of the orchard, so it will force you to walk around and take in the scenery.  Also, the best part of apple picking is that you can have as many free samples as you want.  Check out Shelburne Orchards in Shelburne or Adam’s Apples in Essex.

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8. Baking with apples.  I have to admit, this is one that I’m not all that fond of but most people are.  Although I love to bake, I really don’t like apple pie. Or apple crisp. Or any type of cooked apples.  So, after picking apples I end up doing most of the baking while my friends do all of the eating.

7. Warm drinks.  When outside in the fall, few things feel better than holding a warm drink in your hands and letting the steam swell around your face.  Everyone seems to be really into pumpkin spiced everything these days but, along with apples, pumpkin is just not really my thing. (I know that I don't like the two quintessential fall flavors of pumpkin and baked apples, but I swear that I actually love fall. A lot.)  So, if you were hoping to find out where to get the best pumpkin spiced latte in Burlington, you’ll have to keep looking.  But, might I recommend a mocha from Muddy’s? 

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6. Bike along the waterfront.  A bike or stroll along the waterfront is a great way to take in Vermont in the fall.  Many people frequent the bike path that leads to North Beach, but I personally like to take the path that you catch down by the King Street Ferry.  It takes you in the opposite direction around the lake. I like to think it’s a bit less crowded and less traveled, whether there is truth to that, I have no evidence. 

5. The Giant Pumpkin Regatta. Every year, people of Vermont obsess over their pumpkin patches, striving to grow a pumpkin large enough to turn into a floatation device. Yes, you heard me. People grow pumpkins and turn them into boats and then race them on Lake Champlain and it’s SO COOL.  It is 100% free to watch these people dress up in costume, hop in their pumpkins, and struggle for their watercrafts to stay afloat in the frigid water. Fun fact: The Regatta was spoofed on SNL way back in 2008.  This years Pumpkin Regatta is taking place on October 7. The waterfront festivities start at 10 am and the first race is at noon.

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4. Create your Halloween costume.  I’m into Halloween. Like, really into Halloween.  I start planning my costume on November 1st each year. Some call it crazy, I call it enthusiasm.  Halloween is the one time a year when it is acceptable to dress up as whatever you want and run around town in said costume. Since this is a rare occasion, I spend a lot of time planning and making my Halloween costumes.  I take hours sifting through the racks at Goodwill searching for the perfect blue vest for my Zenon costume or going to JoAnn Fabrics to find the flawless green fabric to make a mermaid tail. Besides these two stores, check out Old Gold on Main Street for some costume ideas and accessories (note, many times they are ridiculously overpriced, but still fun to look at).

3. Carve pumpkins.  You can’t walk down any street in Burlington during the fall without seeing a carved pumpkin on someone’s front steps.  Part of the fun is going to the pumpkin patch and trying to find your ideal gourd, while the rest of the fun is scooping out the guts of the pumpkin and having your hands covered in slime.  Invite some friends over and have a contest to see who can carve the most intricate design. After carving, roast your pumpkin seeds for a quick snack.

2.  Drink seasonal beer. As stated in previous posts, I’m a bit of a Vermont beer fan. There are many breweries in the area that offer free tours and samples of their brews, seasonal or not, at the end.  Magic Hat currently has Hex on tap while Otter Creek is currently offering my favorite, Oktoberfest, on tap.  Long Trail has some great seasonal brews like Harvest and Pumpkin Ale, but their brewery is a bit far to drive to, so you’ll just have to enjoy them from the bottle  (or can, because they do that now).

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1. And the number one thing to do in the fall in Vermont: go hiking!  Everyone knows how beautiful Vermont is in the fall, yet many people like to go on scenic drives instead of experiencing the sights on foot.  Vermont has some incredible hiking trails that lead to gorgeous views of the surrounding area, and the views only get amplified during this time of the year.  If you’re looking for a short hike, try Mount Philo in Charlotte.  It only takes about an hour to do, but it still leaves you feeling satisfied and breathless as you look out at the Adirondack and Green Mountains.  If you’re looking for a bit more of a challenge, Mount Mansfield or Camel’s Hump may be more your style.  Both are day hikes that take anywhere from 3-5 hours to complete, depending on while trail you choose.  Of course, there are many other mountains to hike and trails to explore in the surrounding area, but those three are the most popular and easily accessible.  Bonus: The UVM Outing Club has a few moonlight hikes coming up (September 29 and October 28), as well as a sunrise hike to Camel’s Hump (October 20).

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And there they are. My ten favorite things to do in Vermont in the fall.  Hopefully something sparked your interest and you’ll go outside and enjoy the cool air and foliage as it starts to turn fiery red and yellow.